Category: Politics

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What’s Wrong with the GOP

Liz Cheney, R-Wyoming, a three-term Congresswoman who won her primary 2 years ago by over 70%, lost her primary tonight to Trump’s choice – a woman who supported Cheney in her 2020 run.

Why the flip flop?

Because Rep. Cheney had the audacity to suggest that Trump should be held accountable for his role in the Jan. 6 insurrection – a view pretty much every member of Congress shared on January 7.

But then, many of those same members started worrying about what might happen to them if they publicly stuck by their convictions that maybe Trump should not have riled up his blindly loyal base, the throngs of which have reliably demonstrated that they would lick dog shit off the sidewalk if he asked them to.

Those same members of Congress knew in their hearts – and know it still – that only a narcissistic tyrant would ever suggest that his base march to the Capitol, stomp over police and Capitol security, break down doors and smash in windows, attempt to take over the seat of the federal government, and try to lynch his own Vice President.

But they quickly learned that saying so might end up enraging the former Toddler in Chief, and that might cause him to campaign for someone else come election time, and if we have learned nothing else about most politicians, it is that the only thing they seem to care about more than PAC money and lobbyist donations is getting re-elected.

Imagine caring so much about keeping your seat that you are willing to take your principles, your integrity, and your values, put them in a bag with a nice red bow, and hand it over to Donald J. Trump, the world’s most vile, noxious sack of monkey pox exudate. 

But there are plenty of them – plenty. And one by one, those Congressmen and women got very quiet. They found a way to be okay with the outrageous behavior our country was forced to endure for four years, culminating in something very close to treason, all because this man cannot tolerate losing.

Not Liz. She held Trump’s feet to the fire and suggested – hold onto your underpants – that he should not be permitted to get away with attempting to subvert the Constitution. Crazy, I know! Ten years ago – even FIVE years ago – this would have elicited a big “duh!” from the GOP. Now, it appears to be anathema, and Cheney became a pariah, even though her father is a former Vice President so coated in GOP Super-Strength Teflon that he once shot someone in the face, and everyone kind of laughed and then went back to watching “Friends.”

In the not so distant future, however, this country will universally recognize Trump as the staggeringly dishonest, mentally unstable, serial sexual predator most of us already know him to be. Unfortunately, his base knows virtually nothing about him aside from what they have been spoon-fed by Fox and OAN, and they treat and hint of negativity as a fodder for yet another conspiracy theory. These people can rationalize anything – I once said he could be videotaped sodomizing a toddler, and his base would either create a conspiracy theory or else normalize the behavior, which is what they do every time he engages in conduct which, were it ANYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD, they would condemn.

Trump will go down as history as not quite as evil as Adolph Hitler or Josef Stalin (which I guess is something), but don’t think for one minute that the articles that will be written about him will fail to mention those who worshiped at his shrine, but if the do, we’ll, there’s always Twitter to remind the world who proclaimed Trump the Second Coming and who saw a bloviating box of farts with the IQ of a Nerf football.

Until he does, morons like Josh Hawley and Jim Jordan and Lauren Boebert will continue to make headlines as Trump’s cadre of toadies trying to curry favor so he will haul his hairy girth to perform a rally on their behalf where some of the attendees think JFK, Jr. is actually alive and conspiring with the Illuminati to run the world along with George Soros and the Rothschild family.

I don’t like Liz Cheney’s politics. I wouldn’t vote for her over a Dem with good qualifications and a good platform. But doing what she did shouldn’t be an exception – it should be the norm. It used to be.

It’s not anymore, because the party who was supposed to make sure Trump never made it past the primaries couldn’t get its shit together. People like Ted Cruz and Jeb Bush stayed in the race way too long and fought amongst themselves. Rather than having an early pow-wow the minute Trump rode downstairs on his stupid escalator and insulted Mexicans, all of those GOP senators and governors stayed in the race with the arrogance only a man in government can summon, certain HE would be the last man standing.

The GOP failed, and then the public got silly and had one of those Boaty McBoatface moments when the public, given an awesome responsibility, fails to appreciate the gravity of the moment and says, “Fuck it! It might be fun to have a reality TV show host for president! What’s the worst that could happen?”

And you would have thought that Mitch “Let’s make Obama a one-term president” O’Connell, what with that level of focus and determination, could have made SURE Trump didn’t mess it up too badly.

Except McConnell didn’t care.

And that’s why we’re where we are at.

We need people to care about more than their election war chest, their sound bites or how many of the Sunday morning shows want them on as guests. We need our pols to actually WORK FOR US. We need people like Liz Cheney to say, “Not on my watch, and by the way, Jim Jordan, get your fucking hands off me. You started this riot!” (Which she did).

Be like Liz. She’s not a dick.

Don’t be like Trump. He is.

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Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health, Three Months Later

I’ll admit it – I’m furious that a bunch of Scalia-wannabes on the Supreme Court have overturned Roe. I say this because, while I agreed with almost none of Antonin Scalia’s opinions, I admired his brilliance, his rigor, and his consistency.  With Nino, you knew what you were getting, which was a scathing pen backed up by solid jurisprudence, unshakeable reason, and a judicious sprinkling of such words as “jiggery pokery” that made it impossible to despise him, even if you hated the impact of his rulings.

Scalia’s opinions made crystal clear what he believed, and while those beliefs were undoubtedly informed by his devout Catholicism, they were equally influenced by his judicial philosophy of originalism, which owed no debt to any religion.  Scalia approached every legal matter that came before the Court with the same approach, whether it dealt with hot-button issues such as abortion, or yawn-inducing matters of interstate commerce or patent disputes:  What methods, documents, or or considerations would the founding fathers have taken into account had they been asked to resolve the same legal dispute?

What we have on the Court today, of course, is three women (Sotomayor, Kagan, and Brown Jackson) who have a more modern view of Constitutional law, and six neo-conservatives – five of them Catholic, five of them men.  Of those six, two (Gorsuch and Kavanaugh) represented under oath that they would not disturb the Court’s 1973 holding in Roe v. Wade (and then did exactly that).  Of those six, two (Thomas and Kavanaugh) have been credibly accused of sexual assault.  Of those six, one (Thomas) is married to a conservative activist who runs a consulting firm that frequently works with GOP leadership, far right evangelical pro-life groups, and lobbyists on issues that are often before the Supreme Court; and one (Samuel Alito), may just be the Angriest White Man in America (read his opinions if you want to understand how hard it is to be a guy like him).

So, yeah, the Supreme Court is pretty much a joke if the idea was that it was supposed to be a politics-free, non-biased forum.  And anyone who was breathing when Mitch McConnell engaged in contortions worthy of the Royal Chinese Circus to justify holding hearings on Amy Coney Barrett weeks before the 2020 election after having denied Merrick Garland the same courtesies nine months before the 2016 election (not the same thing at all!) could have figured out what was going to happen when the court took up Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization during the 2021 – 2022 term. Some of us hoped that John Roberts could somehow pull off another ACA Hail Mary, but he alone wasn’t going to be able to stop the inevitable juggernaut of four pro-lifers and a Libertarian (Gorsuch) who – finally – had the ability to do what they and others like them had been dreaming of for 50 years.

So they did it.  But before they did it – when there were signs that Kavanaugh (who may be the judicial equivalent of a golden retriever, from what we’re now hearing) seemed inclined to consider changing his vote (because Roberts scratched him behind the ear, told him he was a “good boy, yes you are!” and gave him a cookie) well, the theory goes – Alito went ballistic:  Not only did his dream of a Handmaid’s Tale America seem to be slipping through his fingers, how was he going to go down in history as the guy who wrote the opinion overturning Roe if Roe didn’t actually get overturned?

Which is when the draft opinion got leaked.

I KNOW!

See, once the draft opinion was out there, it was going to be SO DAMN HARD to put THAT cork back in the bottle – like, you just weren’t going to be able to do it. 

I mean, what was Kavanaugh going to say if all of a sudden, the opinion got released in June, and everyone was like, “oh, hey, we know there was a draft where Roe was overturned, but then KAVANAUGH changed his mind. Must be all the BEER. You know who else drinks beer? SATAN!”

How do you think THAT would have gone over? You think it’s hard going to Morton’s and having to leave through the back door? At least there are five other justices that are also getting grief!

Imagine you were the swing vote SAVING Roe when everyone (except Susan Collins, that Moron from Maine) thought you were were on the Back Alley Abortion Bandwagon?

So Kavanaugh rebuffed a very weary Chief Justice Roberts who at this minute is turning the car around and driving RIGHT F***ING HOME  RIGHT F***ING NOW because these goddamned kids are driving him crazy!

Yeah, so that’s what happened.  And now, there’s no longer a right to abortion under the Constitution, which is sort of like when they said Pluto used to be a planet, but now it’s not, or when people only used to have to pay their OWN taxes, but now we pay Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates and all the other billionaires’ taxes, too. Like, what the fuck is that about?

And so in states where it’s okay to get married at 14 and also, marry your first cousin, or your uncle, you can’t get an abortion under any circumstances, no way, no how, no backsies, and don’t you go showing us any books or science about abortion or anything else because that’s YOU’RE opinion and I’m not buying it, lessin’ I get run over by a Ford Ram Tundra 250 Pickup while I’m walking home from Ugly Tommy’s International Harvester Tavern swigging a six of PBR and my arms get torn off me and my blood and arm guts is squeezing out of me like jelly all over the highway, then I’m gonna want a doctor. And a lawyer, too. To sue the sumbitch what hit me.

Even though some judges (state and federal) are doing their darndest to prohibit these bans, they can’t hold their fingers in the dike forever, and in a matter of months, perhaps, abortion is going to be a privilege – mostly for rich white people (including republican congressman and pastors and Christian businessmen and their mistresses), and women and girls who get raped (something rich white women and men SWEAR does not happen, because you can’t get pregnant if you’re only 10, and SWEAR will fall within exceptions that DO NOT EXIST under many state bans such as South Dakota’s) will just have to learn to BE MORE CAREFUL AND NOT GET RAPED. 

(Also, you women who have pregnancies that pose a risk to your health are gonna have to learn to NOT HAVE PREGNANCIES THAT POSE A RISK TO YOUR HEALTH.  SILLY WOMEN).

(Also, you women who have pregnancies that turn out to be non-viable should be MORE CAREFUL to ONLY HAVE VIABLE PREGNANCIES.  WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?)

(And you women who are just not ready to be a mother? Well, YOU should HAVE THE BABY and spend nine months having to explain that it was a mistake and you are not ready because there are other things you want to do with your life, like getting an education and making sure you can support yourself financially, and that you are not mentally prepared to parent and care for another person for 18 years, and also, you should also have to endure the comments that come with this, like, you are so SELFISH for not keeping your baby, which may actually come from people who say they love you – NICE!- and then also you should go through labor – ALSO NICE! – and then give that baby to another person to raise, all the while knowing you will wonder about that baby for the rest of your life, and maybe that baby will come looking for you even though you don’t want it to, or maybe it won’t, even though you do, and that just sounds like an all around GREAT THING FOR EVERYONE and who knows better how you should live your life than 6 people you’ve never met, 2 of whom like to sexually harass and/or assault women, one of whom likes to pull the wings off bugs, and one who once lived in a cave for 3 years and ate nothing but beetles?)(That last part is a lie).

So.  This was an essay about how I am not so worried about Dobbs.

Here is why:

Things are gonna suck, badly, for a while.  Prepare yourself for it. Be scrupulous about birth control. Consider being a lesbian. So much less mess, probably a lot more foreplay. I hear sex toys are also good fun.

Joe Biden has signed an executive order.  No one understands what it says, and it’s not really going to make a difference, and we think it may only apply to women with an “I” in their name, so that’s not going to be much help.

So, if you want to change things, you’re going to have to do it yourself, and by “yourself,” I mean those of you who haven’t hit menopause.  Those of us who have, care deeply, but we are also tired, our backs hurt, and we’ve sort of done our thing. It’s your turn. 

This is gonna have to be your thing. You’re gonna have to do this.  We did a lot of the “don’t give us that shit” in the workplace, culminating in the #metoo movement. Not all of us sued someone (but a lot of us said something, and did something, grabbed a lot of testicles and twisted – figuratively speaking, of course). We got called honey and sweetie and got passed over for promotions and got put on the “Mommy Track” and had men say disgusting things to and in front of us, and we were expected to swallow hard a “act like one of the boys” if we wanted to get by.

Some of us did (fuck you very much, Judy and Dolores) and some of us didn’t. Some of us had to educate the f***ing idiots in HR, and things still aren’t perfect in the workplace, but they are a shit-ton better. Ask Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer. It took a lot out of us.  We aren’t sure we have it in us to yank Sam Alito off a barstool and kick the shit out of him – figuratively speaking, of course.  But you guys can do it.

Here’s the good news:

1.  More men than ever are getting vasectomies.  Let them.  Encourage them.  They’re reversible. 

2.  By 2050, the majority of America’s population will be Latino.

3.  The percentage of women graduating from college already exceeds that of men, and it has for years.  Soon enough, the same will be true of business school, med school, and law school.

4.  More women than ever are running for local, state and federal government.  The percentage of women in government is still low, but it’s increasing. 

Bottom line.  A lot of white men are fat and lazy and unemployed and hooked on opiates and Donald Trump, who’s going to be dead soon.  These guys are also gonna die, and as they slip off their mortal coils, a new generation is going to emerge, and the power base is going to shift from old white men to POC, women, and people in the LGBTQ community.  Congress, and SCOTUS will follow.

This is going to take time.  It will take less time if young people put down their goddamned avocado toast and video games and get involved. 

By “involved,” I mean, take 1 person with you to vote.  ONE PERSON.  You don’t have to sign up for a committee or run for office, although you might be a really great candidate.

You don’t have to ring doorbells or call people on the phone, although you might find you like doing it, and you will most definitely meet new friends (and learn something in the meantime).

You don’t have to contribute a lot money (because you probably don’t have any, what with the cost of avocado toast and such), but you could probably scrape together $5 for the candidate of your choice (check out their website – they’ll take anything you’ve got!)

And you don’t need to know a whole lot about ANY of the candidates – go on their websites and learn.  Here’s a tip, however:

Since this is a post about abortion, if you want to support people who are pro-choice, most Republicans AREN’T.

So, to sum up:

Supreme Court:  Full of ANGRY and/or clueless men and 4 really smart, thoughtful women (we’re hoping the one wakes up soon – like, REALLY soon).

Abortion Access in America:  Worse than any other developed nation, an embarrassment, the subject of EU sanctions, worse than it was 200 years ago, determined by men, opinion of majority of citizens not taken into account.

What You Can Do to Help:  Vote, march, protest, send letters to SCOTUS and tell the Justices they have become a partisan religious body and thus has violated the First Amendment.

Outlook for the Future:  Sunny.

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The Supreme Court is in Trouble – Part II

There is a certain kind of man who is furious that America, in 2022, is a place where Black, Latino, immigrant, female, LGBTQ, disabled, non-Christian people are beginning to have a seat at the table in politics, business, law, medicine – fields that were traditionally reserved to them – the Straight Christian White man.

It used to be that if you were a straight (or, at least, pretending to be straight) White Christian man (or SWCM), all you had to do to be successful was have a pulse and not kill another White person, even if you were a raging alcoholic who beat his wife, cheated on his taxes, and had weekly nooners with his secretary, Blanche, at the No Tell Motel.

Nowadays, it’s not enough to just be a SWCM. You have to have skills and qualifications, and if you’ve got some blemishes on your record (like, you raped an unconscious girl on the campus of Stanford and the judge made you go to jail for 2 whole weeks), well, you may have some ‘splainin to do at your job interview for Bank Manager, and maybe that more qualified and less rapey person of color/woman/LGBTQ person will be hired instead.

It just sucks when that happens!!

Over time, some stinky butthole SWCMs grudgingly learned to adapt. Some didn’t need to, because they never saw people who were different from them as a threat in the first place.

But a nice healthy segment of SCWMs never got over the certainty that their maleness and Whiteness and Christian-ness and straight-ness just made them better than everyone else and entitled them to all the jobs and all the money and all the power.

So, when that notion was challenged, and those guys stopped automatically getting what they thought of as their birthright, they were puzzled.

Then they got mad.

Then they started blaming all the people who weren’t SWCMs, and then they started voting for people who told them that the immigrants stole their jobs, that successful women were only successful because they’d slept their way to the top, and people of color who held prestigious positions had only gotten them because of affirmative action.

And, oh boy, did they love Donald Trump.

Because Donald Trump knew what these guys wanted to hear. He knew what they wanted to see. He knew what kind of world they wanted to live in.

A world run by Straight White Christian Men.

A world where women have no power.

A world where people of color know their place.

A world where the LGBTQ community is terrified to be out and open lest someone tie them to a tree and kill them by throwing rocks at them until they’re dead.

So Trump set out to feed his SWCM army by giving them the jewel in the crown – an end to abortion – not because he has ever given a shit about “unborn life,” (god only knows how many abortions he’s paid for) but because he knew that the best way to keep women out of the halls of power is to take away their ability to control their family planning.

If you can keep a woman pregnant and giving birth all the time (without the privilege of two law professors’ salaries and live-in child care, a la Amy Coney Barrett), she’s unlikely to plan an overthrow of the government. If you can keep her from getting an education while you’re at it, so much the better. Why else would religious cults (let’s include the Catholics, the Mormons, the “Quiver Full” sects) have always encouraged their flocks to eschew birth control?

Keep the women pregnant. They’ll be too busy to ask you the hard questions.

It’s no accident that the Second Wave Feminism

Movement of the 1970’s followed swiftly on the heels of the birth control pill. All of a sudden, women had a reliable option for preventing pregnancy – one their partner (if they even had one) didn’t even have to know about. And all of a sudden, women were demanding the right to have a credit card in their own name, to be able to own a piece of property on their own, even if they were married. To be admitted to all-make institutions of higher learning. To run the Boston Marathon.

So, today’s ruling isn’t just about not wanting to carry a pregnancy to term. It’s about five straight men (four of them white, all of them Christian) deciding once again try to keep women out of the halls of power and back home, pregnant, raising children, too tired and too busy to hold them accountable.

This is what men who hate women do.

Amy Coney Barrett, I don’t even know what to say about you, except at least one of your daughters is probably going to hate you one day.

But make no mistake.

Clarence Thomas.

Samuel Alito.

John Roberts.

Neil Gorsuch.

Brett Kavanaugh.

These men hate women.

Watch what happens next.

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The Supreme Court is in Trouble – Part I

Three Supreme Court Justices lied under oath.

That oughta gripe your cookies just a tiny bit.

Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, and Coney Barrett all testified under penalty of perjury that they considered Roe v. Wade to be settled law not subject to amendment.

I guess they changed their minds.

And Ted Cruz was worried about the books at the school attended by Justice Brown Jackson’s daughters (which, incidentally, are also the shelves of the school attended by Caroline and Katherine Cruz).

Lots of people are up in arms, and they should be. Some are blaming RBG for not retiring sooner so that her replacement could have been nominated by Obama.

Well, I guess she could have. Knowing what we know now, she would have to have stepped down some time in 2015…before the election cycle had got too hot. We know that by February  2016, when Antonio Scalia died, it was already too hot, which is why Merrick Garland is now Attorney General, and not a Supreme Court Justice.

So, yes, I guess RBG should have stepped down prior to February 2016 and further tested how much of a turd bucket Mitch McConnell would turn out to be. I think that is a super great and valid argument. Of course, once Trump was elected, I think we all believed (those of use who cared about a court that did not have a conservative super majority) that RBG was hanging on for as long as she could, although when she did die, none of us who care about a court that does not have a conservative super majority ever believed that Mitch McConnell would apply the same rationale in keeping Scalia’s seat open until after the election as he would where RBG’s seat was concerned. That woman’s family hadn’t finished sitting shiva before Amy Coney Barrett was having tea at the Capitol.

You would hope that the third branch of government, which was always intended to be the “purest” and least subject to politics and back-door wheeling-dealing, would remain, despite the disgusting partisan farce that has been playing out for the last thirty years, would have tried to keep itself clean, and in some respects, it has little control how future justices are vetted and brought to the bench.

Once there, one hopes that the gravity and history and power that informs every word they write and act they take is burnished by an appreciation that they follow in the footsteps of the justices who issued landmark opinions that shaped this country for good.

But now it seems this inveterate institution that the public used to respect and revere now holds a place of respect somewhere around the National Enquirer and “Keeping up with the Kardashians.”

John Roberts, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

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Pot-Smoking Liberals and Gays Take Aim

So Ohio lawmaker, Candice Keller, has finally figured out why so many people out there are shooting up this country, and it’s a doozy. Since she’s now taken down her Facebook post, here’s what it said. Are you ready? Here we go:

“After every mass shooting, the liberals start the blame game. Why not place the blame where it belongs?

“The breakdown of the traditional American family (thank you, transgender, homosexual marriage, and drag queen advocates); fatherlessness, a subject no one discusses or believes is relevant; the ignoring of violent video games; the relaxing of laws against criminals (open borders); the acceptance of recreational marijuana; failed school policies (hello, parents who defend misbehaving students); disrespect to law enforcement (thank you, Obama), hatred of our veterans (thank you, professional athletes who hate our flag and National Anthem); the Dem Congress, many members whom (sic) are openly anti-Semitic; the culture, which totally ignores the importance of God and the church (until they elect a President); State officeholders, who have no interest whatsoever in learning about our Constitution and the Second Amendment; and snowflakes, who can’t accept a duly-elected President.

“Did I forget anybody? The list is long. And the fury will continue.”

Gosh, that’s a LOT of blame! Basically, only Christian Trump Voters (an oxymoron, I know) are exempt from responsibility.

But maybe Candice has a point. Let’s take this one at a time and see who is really to blame for all this gun violence:

The LGBTQ Community: I’d have to do some research, but I don’t think anyone in this group has ever perpetrated a mass shooting, and certainly not in the name of gay rights, although I have to agree that all of those lesbians and drag queens out there have ruined my marriage. I can barely give my husband a blow job anymore, I’m so upset. We’re about to celebrate 30 years of a very happy marriage, but if it weren’t for all those gays out there, we’d be even happier.

Fatherlessness: By this, I assume Ms. Keller means all those dead-beat dads out there that don’t pay child support for or raise their children. Yeah, that’s a problem. And dead-beat dads suck. So do dead-beat moms, because kids need loving parents, and they deserve to be well taken care of. So can we agree that people that don’t treat children well suck? Yes? Okay. Then Republican lawmakers suck.

Violent Video Games: I actually agree with this one. Score one for Ms. Keller.

Undocumented Immigrants: The reason for everything that’s bad in our country, like having fresh produce available for purchase in our stores pretty much any day of the year; or hotels that are clean and restaurants, period; or a poorly-paid labor market to scrub the toilets and raise the children of the rich. It’s really astonishing how those illegals are shooting up the country, like, just the other day this guy drove 10 hours to El Paso, Texas to kill – oh, wait a minute. Never mind.

Recreational Marijuana: If this were true, everyone in Colorado, Massachusetts, California, or Canada would have killed each other already. I sort of think that if you gave everyone who was thinking of shooting up a McDonald’s a few edibles, they’d probably just eat a box of Oreos and fall asleep. So…

The Educational System: Let me see if I understand: Teachers and administrators are responsible for turning out psychopaths who procure (in some cases, illegally) assault weapons or other firearms. I think this is a very good theory because those educators are so lazy. All they do all day is try to impart knowledge to overcrowded, underfunded classrooms of students, some of whom have no support at home, are living in poverty, and don’t have enough to eat, AND make sure every kid gets really high test scores so they don’t get fired. Goddammit, it’s the teachers!

President Obama: Well, obviously.

Professional Athletes: You know, nothing gripes my cookies like those professional athletes who HATE VETERANS. You know they do, because they say it all the time. They say, “I am taking a knee because I want to call attention to aspects of this country that are unfair to people of color (thanks, Colin Kaepernick!) or people who are gay (thanks, Megan Rapinoe!).” That’s what they say, you know, and then whenever they see veterans, they kick them and shove them and beat the shit out of them and leave them for dead…oh, wait…that was Matthew Shepherd. I’m sorry.

A BRIEF DIGRESSION:

Patriot Fun Fact #1: You can’t be a patriot unless you can only have one idea in your head and cannot tolerate hearing another viewpoint without melting into a puddle of Snowflake Juice.

Patriot Fun Fact #2: People who both love our country AND think that people shouldn’t be treated differently because of the color of their skin are NOT patriots.

LET’S GET BACK TO OUR LIST:

We were talking about who’s fault it is that the only place you can go without getting shot these days is a Pizza Hut, and that’s because the diarrhea starts the moment you walk in. If you go anywhere else, you’re going to get shot by:

The Anti-Semitic Democratic Congress: Although Jews make up 2 percent of the U.S. population, nearly 7 percent, or 36 of 535 members of the current Congress are Jewish. Of those 36, 34 are Democrats. Yeah, it’s the Democrats, all right.

All Those Non-Christians: To the extent that you are implicitly including Donald Trump in this group, yeah, I would have to agree. Apparently, it’s impossible to be non-Christian AND not shoot people. Which is why the First Amendment established Christianity as the national religion.

People Who Have No Interest in Learning About the Second Amendment: Are they better or worse than those people who aren’t interested in learning about the First Amendment? Just asking for a friend.

Snowflakes: You mean all those embittered straight white Christian males (spoiler alert: A lot of them are closeted gays who would feel so much better if they’d just accept who they are and meet a nice guy and settle down in a cozy little bungalow with a chocolate lab and frequent trips to Turks and Caicos)? You know – the ones who are enraged to the point of shooting up concerts and churches and synagogues and Wal-Marts and grocery stores and movie theatre and kindergarten children because they can’t handle that just having a pulse is no longer good enough to guarantee them a life of success, happiness, and the assured domination of anyone who isn’t also a straight white Christian male? Yeah, that’s what I thought you meant…Because that’s the actual definition of every Snowflake I’ve ever met.

People Who Can’t Accept a Duly Elected President: Not to quibble, but I don’t think it’s the “duly elected part,” (which, of course, is problematic, what with the fact that he didn’t actually win the popular vote), I think it’s the “Racist, Misogynistic, Sexually Predatory, Uneducated, Incurious, Undisciplined, Divisive, Thuggish, Unprepared, Narcissistic, Mentally Ill, Morally Bankrupt, Disabled-Mocking, Muslim-Hating, Unprincipled, Lying, Deceitful, Untrustworthy, Laughable, Treasonous Son-of-a-Bitch” that has some people just a tad bit fired up.

Surprisingly, Ms. Keller did not mention the mentally ill – and not, I am sure, because she doesn’t think they are part of the problem, but because, I am certain, she opposes any sort of funding for the identification and treatment of mental illness.

So that’s whose fault it is. Not the (overwhelmingly Republican) lawmakers across the country who refuse to enact even the most modest of gun control laws.

Not the NRA, which pours money into the coffers of said lawmakers in order to make sure that they don’t enact even the most modest of gun control laws.

Not a president who encourages hatred and division in order to divert attention from the fact that he’s a…well, you know what he is. Yeah, you do.

Not those who hate/cannot tolerate the existence of anyone who doesn’t look/worship/think like them and who believe that having lots of guns will protect you from having to face the fact that they’re an asshole. Yeah, they are.

Not even those who actually pull the trigger – even though guns don’t kill people, people kill people, and even though the people who have been pulling the trigger of late are overwhelmingly racist, xenophobic, prejudiced dicks.

ANOTHER BRIEF DIGRESSION:

Dear Snowflakes:

You know how you’re all angry and shit because you were too lazy and entitled to achieve your dreams and goals?

Nobody did that to you. Not the immigrants or the gays or the Muslims or women or people of color.

Love, Wendy

LET’S WRAP THIS THING UP, COULD WE?

To sum up, the people responsible for all these mass shootings are the Democratic Atheistic Immigrant Pot-Smoking Gay Teacher-Athletes.

So now you know.

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Two Years Into The Trump Presidency, a Mid-Term Review

So President Trump has been in office for roughly two years. How’s he doing? You be the judge.

1.  Consistency and Accountability

“I am proud to shut down the government for border security. … I will take the mantle…I will be the one to shut it down.”

~DJT Tweet, 12/11/18

“The Democrats own the shutdown!”

~DJT Tweet, 12/21/18

Senate: 51 R, 47 D, 2 I

House: 237 R, 197 D

2.  Stability

Nine of 21 White House and cabinet positions have turned over at least once during the Trump administration, compared with three at the same point of the Clinton administration, two under President Barack Obama and one under President George W. Bush.

~NYT, December 20, 2019

It looks as though Mnuchin, and possibly Fed Chief Jerome Powell, may also be waving sayonara very soon.  Hmmm.

3.  Leadership in Time of Crisis

“There is no reason for these massive, deadly and costly forest fires in California except that forest management is so poor.”

~DJT Tweet, November 10, 2018

“Such poor leadership by the Mayor of San Juan and others in Puerto Rico who are not able to get their workers to help. They want everything to be done for them when it should be a community effort.”

~DJT Tweet, September 30, 2017

4.  It’s the Economy, Stupid!

The Dow lost 1,655 points on the week, the worst percentage drop since October 2008.

The Dow and S&P 500 are on track for their worst December performance since the Great Depression in 1931.

Both the Dow and the S&P 500 are now in the red for 2018 by at least 9 percent.

~MSNBC, December 20, 2018

“I don’t think they can impeach somebody that’s doing a great job. You look at the economy, you look at jobs, you look at foreign, what’s going on with other countries. You look at trade deals. I’m doing a great job.”

~DJT Tweet, August 24, 2018

5.  Character

“On approximately June 16, 2015, Individual-1, for whom Cohen worked at the time, began an ultimately successful campaign for President of the United States. During the campaign, Cohen played a central role in two similar schemes to purchase the rights to stories – each from women who claimed to have had an affair with Individual-1 – so as to suppress the stories and thereby prevent them from influencing the election. With respect to both payments, Cohen acted with the intent to influence the 2016 presidential election. Cohen himself has now admitted, with respect to both payments, he acted in coordination with and at the direction of Individual-1.”

~United States of America v. Michael Cohen, No. 18-cr-602 (WHP), U.S.D.C. S.D.N.Y. Dec. 7, 2018

6.  Philanthropy

“The Trump Foundation has done great work and given away lots of money, both mine and others, to great charities over the years — with me taking NO fees, rent, salaries etc.”

~DJT Tweet, December 19, 2018

The Trump Foundation agreed to dissolve amid a lawsuit filed by the NY Attorney alleging it violated campaign-finance laws, abused its tax-exempt status and engaged in unlawful coordination with Trump’s presidential campaign. Other reports showed that Trump donated little of his personal money to the charity after 2006 and engaged in self-dealing, including the use of Foundation funds to settle legal claims against the Mar-a-Lago resort.

~Washington Post, December 19, 2018

7.  Patriotism and Loyalty

REPORTER (Jeff Mason from Reuters): President Putin, did you want President Trump to win the election and did you direct any of your officials to help him do that?

PUTIN: Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because he talked about bringing the US/Russia relationship back to normal.

TRUMP: I have President Putin. He just said it’s not Russia. I will say this. I don’t see any reason why it would be.

~Joint Press Conference, Helsinki, July 18, 2018

8 U.S. Intelligence Groups Blame Russia for meddling in the 2016 election, including the CIA, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, the FBI, the NSA, the Justice Department, the Department of Homeland Security, and Republican-Led House Intelligence Committee and the Republican-Led Senate Intelligence Committee.

~New York Times, August 2, 2018

8.  Tyranny

On Kim Jong Un: “He speaks, and his people sit up at attention. I want my people to do the same.”

On Xi Jinping: “He’s now president for life….he was able to do that. I think it’s great. Maybe we’ll have to give that a shot some day.”

On Vladimir Putin: “If he says great things about me, I’m going to say great things about him. I’ve already said, he is really very much of a leader.

9.  Veracity

DJT said: “The overall audience [for the inauguration] was, I think, the biggest ever to watch an inauguration address, which was a great thing.”

~January 26, 2017

The Truth: The White House said 720,000 people attended the Jan. 20 inauguration in person, while Trump estimated 1.5 million. 1.8 million who attended Obama’s first inauguration. Approximately 30.6 million people tuned in to watch Trump’s inauguration on television. 41.8 million viewers watched Ronald Reagan’s 1981 inauguration.

DJT said: “Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my “wires tapped” in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!”

“How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!”

~DJT Tweet, March 4, 2017

The Truth: No evidence has ever been adduced to support this claim.

DJT said: “If you buy, you know, a box of cereal, if you do anything, you have a voter ID. … The only thing you don’t is if you’re a voter of the United States.”

— 11/14/18 Interview with the Daily Caller

The Truth: You do not need identification to buy a box of cereal.

10. Respect for the Judiciary

“Sorry Chief Justice John Roberts, but you do indeed have ‘Obama judges,’” Mr. Trump wrote, “and they have a much different point of view than the people who are charged with the safety of our country.”

“Judicial Activism, by people who know nothing about security and the safety of our citizens”

~DJT Tweets, November 21, 2018

“The 9th Circuit is a complete and total disaster. It is out of control, has a horrible reputation, and is overturned more than any circuit in the Country.”

~DJT Tweet, November 22, 2018

“It just shows everyone how broken and unfair our Court System is when the opposing side in a case (such as DACA) always runs to the 9th Circuit.”

~DJT Tweet, January 10, 2017

“Justice Ginsburg of the U.S. Supreme Court has embarrassed all by making very dumb political statement about me. Her mind is shot – resign!”

~DJT Tweet, July 13, 2016

 

That’s your president, Folks. Once again, thanks to all of you who made him so.

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Midterms Wrap-Up and Electoral Surf-Jargon Wonk-Fest

Blue Wave? Well, to throw some surfer patois at you (thank you, http://www.surfing-waves.com/surf_talk.htm, for the hook-up) it was no Pipeline – more a Clean Set – and may end up an Ankle Buster that turned into a Pumping Reform.  Yeah.  You heard me.  This is not your father’s Election Night Post-Mortem!

Let’s take a look:

The House:

Leading up to the 2018 Midterms, the House was 235 R – 193 D, with seven vacancies, for a total of 435 seats.  As of this writing, Dems now hold 225 seats, the GOP won 197, and there are 13 up for grabs.  Of those races that are still too close to call, 10 are leaning Democrat.

When all ballots are counted and all races called, the House could be 235 D – 200 R.  We will have 55 Barneys (new members), and as many as 100 Bettys (women), including our own Wahine from the LV, Susan Wild – Slotted, Amped and Stoked throughout the campaign (yay, Susan!) who rode a Bomb to best her challenger, Marty “I Need a Rail Banging” Nothstein.

It was a time for new blood:  Gremmie Kendra Horn pulled an Epic Layback, upsetting Republican Rep. Steve Russell in Oklahoma’s 5th District.  There was some serious Cranking in Virginia, as Jennifer Wexton, Abigail Spanberger, and Elaine Luria caused their Male GOP opponents a serious Mullering.

But was it a Blue Wave? Well, according to political scientist Jacob Smith, from 1918 to 2016, the president’s party has lost an average of 29 House seats in midterm elections.  Presumably, then, the loss of MORE than 29 seats would constitute a “wave.”  If Republicans prevail in all 13 outstanding races, the tally would be 225 – 210, for a loss of 25 seats.  If the Dems prevail on 10, as predicted, the GOP will have lost 35 seats.  Sounds like it could be Stacking Up to a potential Thundoar.

The Senate:

The Upper Chamber is another story – a real Mushburger for Dems: Heading into Tuesday, the make-up was 51 GOP, 47 Dems, and 2 Independents, including Grey Belly Zimzala Bernie Sanders.  Thanks to some Shoulder Hops from DJT, many GOP candidates Slashed and it was Firing, and as of today, the GOP has held 51 seats, the Dems are at 44, with 2 Independents.

Potential Cinderella Brah Beto O’Rourke was Raked Over early on but looked to be on the Lip before getting Caught Inside, Locked In, and, ultimately Licked.  Another victory for incumbent Ted Cruz (people are saying he’s an Aggro Beach Leach who likes to Drop In).  In Pennsylvania, Lou Barletta went Over the Falls as Bob Casey was Trim in the Tube.

Three races are too close to call:  In Arizona, the fight between Sinema and Sally has gone back and forth; Sinema now leads by 9,000 votes, but roughly 400,000 ballots have not yet tabulated, suggesting that there could be more Clidro in the days to come.

In Florida, Rick Scott (he seems like he would be a Shubie Frube) is sitting on a razor-thin, 0.2% (representing a difference of 15,071 votes).  A projected 7,000 – 10,000 votes remain to be counted, but some media outlets suggest that at least 25,000 ballots from Broward County cast votes in the gubernatorial election but not in the U.S. Senate race.  Rick Scott has lodged allegations of voter fraud but has not yet disclosed the basis for those allegations.  All predictions tend to favor Scott.

Mississippi will hold a runoff election since none of the three candidates received over 50% of the vote.  The Republican candidate, Cynthia Hyde-Smith, is heavily favored over Democratic challenger Mike Espy.  The runoff election will be held on November 27, 2018.

When all is said and done, the GOP will hold the Senate, with a likely total of 53 to the Dems 44 and 2 Independents – the Sinema/Sally election could go either way – but it could be Stacking for Sinema.  In any case, Dems lost 2 or 3 seats.

State Elections:

In state races, Democrats flipped seven governorships.  Georgia is still too close to call, though Stacey Adams seems to be getting Worked in a Washing Machine and headed for a Dirty Licking, while the nicest thing you can say about her ethically-challenged opponent, Brian Kemp, is that he’s a Clucked Kook-y Paddlepuss.

Republicans flipped one governorship in Alaska – Mike Dunleavy was in the Green Room all the way.  Two secretary of state offices (Colorado and Michigan) flipped GOP to Dem.  Andrew Gillum is hoping for some way to hold on; conventional wisdom says he’s probably Noodled.

As for ballot measures, I’m totally Frothin’ that Florida has voted to make dog racing illegal while the folks in Massachusetts have voted to protect the rights of the transgendered.

And there you have it, your Surf-Time Election Wrap-Up.

You’re welcome.  Now go Hang Ten.  (Michael, you can Hang Eleven).

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Why Robert DeNiro Shouldn’t Be Allowed to Say Things on TV (and other things Trump Supporters Think)

June 12, 2018

I see on Facebook that many are up in arms that Robert DeNiro took the stage at the Tony Awards on Sunday night and began his presentation by saying, “F*** Trump.”

DeNiro went on to say some other things after the standing ovation he received from the Broadway artists, actors, musicians, authors, dancers, playwrights, set designers, techies, composers, directors, producers, costume designers, and film critics in attendance had ended. I wasn’t aware of this, because I rarely watch the Tonys, nor, I suspect, does anyone else who isn’t a Broadway artist, actor, musician, author, dancer, playwright, set designer, techie, composer, director, producer, costumer designer, or film critic.

But DeNiro said what he said, and now everybody is talking about the Tonys, which, I suppose, is good for the Tonys, and probably the most interesting thing that has happened at a Tony ceremony in years. A lot of people who don’t live in New York City are angry and offended, and you know what that means:

FACEBOOK WARS!

Just for fun, and because I was waiting for my argument to be called this afternoon, I read some of the comments of those who claim to be shocked – SHOCKED, I tell you – at DeNiro’s comments. I also read the responses of people who aren’t six-year-old girls, and here’s what I can tell you:

People will find any reason to pick a fight, even if in doing so, they are revealed to be just about the stupidest, inconsistent, hypocrites to pick up a smartphone.
But, to be fair, let’s examine some of the stated reasons people are unhappy with Robert DeNiro and his antics and see whether anyone has a point (spoiler alert: They don’t).

1. “He used the F-word, and I find that OFFENSIVE!”

Most of the people who raised this concern also went on to express their support of our president, which is surprising, because that same president ALSO likes to use the F-word, as well as other words, like “p****,” as in “grab them by the….” If you’re offended by the F-word, it’s probably a good thing you don’t spend a lot of time in the Oval Office where, we are told, that word gets used a lot.

2. “I mean, he said ‘f***’ on national television!”

If all you knew about America was what people posted on Facebook calling out DeNiro, you would be of the impression that none of us EVER said “f***,” or tolerated it when other people did. I have to tell you…that’s not the case. I hear people use that word in public at least 15 times a day, and casually, by people ranging in age from 15 to 85. With the exception of Catholic nuns and preschoolers, pretty much EVERYONE uses that word. Which doesn’t mean it’s okay, just that pretending to be shocked is pretty disingenuous.

Complaining that you are actually OFFENDED by the use of the f-word is even worse, because I’ll bet you at least a few of those complaining about DeNiro’s choice of language have seen “Goodfellas” at least once, and if you don’t like the f-word, well, then you’re probably not going to like “Goodfellas.” Give me a dollar for every time that word gets dropped in “Goodfellas,” I’ll retire and raise alpaca.

As more proof that it had nothing to do with the F-bomb, remember when Meryl Streep called out Trump, without using off-color language? People hated on her, too. It’s not the word, it’s the man, and his supporters – like him – just go batshit crazy when anyone criticizes thim.

3. “I’m tired of listening to Hollywood actors give political speeches!”

Some think that Hollywood actors/directors/producers, etc. should not be allowed to express their opinions. Some people also think this about professional athletes but are okay when people like Ted Nugent, Clint Eastwood, or Kid Rock have something political to say. As with Number 1, if one is going to adopt a policy concerning who gets to say what, then one ought to be consistent. Also, the First Amendment.

And P.S.? The people who don’t like it when the entertainment industry talks about politics are the same people who elected a reality star to the highest office in our country.

4. “Roseanne got fired, but it’s okay for DeNiro to say f***? Double Standard!”

Actually no, because, (a) what Roseanne said was racist and anti-Muslim, whereas what DeNiro said, essentially, was that Trump is a poor leader, which is neither racist nor anti-Muslim; and (b) Roseanne was fired by her employer because it found her exercise of her First Amendment rights to be contrary their message/mission – which apparently is okay if you’re an NFL team owner. If you don’t like what DeNiro said, you can act like Roseanne’s boss (ABC TV) and not watch his movies or patronize his restaurants. So, no double standard.

5. “Those Hollywood elite don’t care about world peace!”

You know who ALSO doesn’t care about world peace? Donald Trump! Trump embraced the idea of reunification of the Korean Peninsula,
like, 15 minutes ago, for the sole purpose of currying favor with China and Russia and because someone told him he would win a Nobel Peace Prize if he did.

And don’t say he’s been working on it for months, because all he’d been doing through last fall and winter was calling the leader of North Korea names, some of which were kind of funny, but not necessarily helpful if peace and denuclearization is the goal.

I think, moreover, that if you asked DeNiro and the Tonys audience how they feel about denuclearization as one strategy for achieving world peace, they would probably say, “that would be super! You know what else would be great? If we didn’t alienate other nations which for decades have been important friends and allies!”

So, to those who think Trump’s “Give me a Nobel” stunt is worth applauding, all the while advocating for a return of Russia to the G7, I say, when our president has behaved like such a dick that Canada – CANADA – is pissed off, you don’t get to hold up Trump as the peacemaker.

6. “DeNiro has no morals so you shouldn’t listen to him.”

This one is my favorite: Some criticized DeNiro because he’s “been married twice and has a set of twins with a woman he is not married to and was linked to a protitution ring.” Given that Trump’s voters were able to get past the fact that he (a) ended his first marriage by having a very public affair; (b) got his mistress pregnant out of wedlock, and then divorcing her; and (c) has had a lot of sex with women in the adult entertainment industry, you would think Trump supporters would LOVE Robert DeNiro!

7. “Actors have no right to speak about politics because all they do is put on costumes and say lines that other people wrote for them.”

Sort of sounds like a politician, if you ask me.

In the end, it really doesn’t matter what DeNiro says, or that some people are annoyed. The arts have always led the way where social justice is concerned, and they will continue to do so, whether Trump like it or not. We are a far more liberal country now than we were fifty years ago, and in fifty years, we will be more liberal still. Those in government who attempt to legislate “morality” and “values” almost never succeed, and even in a country that, God help us, elected that asshat, a majority support equality for all regardless of race, religion, ethnicity, or sexual orientation. What’s more, most young people consider that issue pretty much closed, and guess what? They’re the ones who will run the country someday, just as most who were born in the fifties and sixties (those who aren’t assholes, anyway) are sincere in their desire for racial equality.

You can stoke your false outrage and pretend to be offended that someone you know to be a pretty outspoken person said something you didn’t like, or you can admit what we already know to be true: If you support Trump, you’ll find a reason why anyone who opposes him is the anti-Christ. Because that’s what y’all do.

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Zero Tolerance

June 20, 2018

Listened to an interview with the acting director of ICE last night. He, and many Trump supporters, say it is manipulative to focus on the impact of Trump’s “zero tolerance” policy – children being ripped from their parents’ arms, toddlers crying, etc. – and that the only people to blame for what is currently happening on our southern border is the parents who put their children in this position in the first place.

Spoken like white people of enormous privilege.

You have to ask yourself, how bad would your life have to be for you to leave your home, your homeland, your family, pretty much your entire life, equipped only with whatever you could carry and whatever money you were able to scrape together, to make a perilous journey across hundreds of miles – some or most of them on foot – knowing that you could be the victim of crime, that you may or may not have regular access to food or clean water along the way, and that when you finally reached your destination, you could be turned away, arrested, or jailed?

And even if you were one of the lucky ones who was granted asylum, you now have to start over from scratch with nothing but whatever assistance available from the government and the scorn and racism of people who think our country should be as lily-white as it was after we exterminated indigenous Americans and before we imported slave labor from Africa to do the jobs white people didn’t want to do?

How bad would life have to be for someone to decide, “trying to get to America, even though fraught with hardship and danger, is better than what it’s like to live under my present circumstances?”

Most Americans take for granted the relative stability, opportunity, and resources we enjoy. We have no clue what it’s like to live in a “shithole” country where there are no civil rights or guarantees of safety and order, but I have a feeling that it won’t be too much longer before we do.

Finally, for those who feel the need to consult the Bible on this one, here’s a nice passage from Luke:

“For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.”