Thursday Night in Montana

July 6, 2018

Our president took to the campaign stage on Thursday evening hoping to deflect attention from the very public resignation of embattled EPA Department Secretary Scott Pruitt, and he did so in his usual ultra-classy fashion: By calling people names and giving Vladimir Putin a virtual blow job. Also, Russia and North Korea are honorable, long-time allies, while Canada and France and Germany and the UK are security threats who present a clear and present danger to our way of life. Who knew?

After criticizing everyone from John McCain to George H.W. Bush (apparently, Trump is the ONLY person in the United States that didn’t understand the “Thousand Points of Light” speech that 41 made, oh, I don’t know, like, thirty years ago), Trump turned his ire to Elizabeth Warren, insisting that she take a DNA test to prove that she actually has Native American blood. (Note to Trump: How ’bout YOU take a DNA test to prove you’re not a used condom filled with ass sweat and toe cheese?)

So here’s what he said:

“We will take that little kit and say, but we have to do it gently. Because we’re in the ‘#MeToo‘ generation so I have to be very gentle. And we will very gently take that kit and we will slowly toss it, hoping it doesn’t hit her and injure her arm even though it only weighs probably two ounces. And we will say, I will give you a million dollars to your favorite charity, paid for by Trump, if you take the test so that it shows you’re an Indian.”

This quote is so offensive, disturbing, so disgusting, and so creepy, I am not sure where to begin, but I’ll try.

First, anyone who has been alive since the 1980’s understands that the indigenous peoples of the North American Continent prefer to be called “Native Americans,” not “Indians.” Not quite as bad as using the “N” word, but pretty insensitive nonetheless. The only reason anyone ever called them “Indians” in the first place is because Columbus got lost but was too stupid to understand that he hadn’t actually made it all the way around the world to the country of….India. Maybe when they taught that at the military academy Trump’s father sent him to (because he couldn’t stand him), Trump was out getting treated for bone spurs.

Second, we all know that Donald Trump hasn’t given a single dollar to charity since 2008, even though he’s made plenty of promises to plenty of people that he would – click on the links below to get a sense of just how frequently Trump makes the big gesture but then fails to follow through. Why would anyone do anything in reliance on Trump keeping a promise (other than those who voted for Trump believing that by doing so, they would become instant millionaires, living in a gold-plated penthouse with a supermodel wife – and hey, why aren’t they more pissed?)

Third, he tells the crowd what they should do to Elizabeth Warren – and damned if it didn’t sound like a bunch of lacrosse-playing frat boys talk about the gang rape they’re planning for the evening. I don’t know that I’ve heard anything creepier outside of “Silence of the Lambs.” Apparently, all Trump has learned about the #metoo movement is that if you say you’re going to do it “gently,” they may not realize their being raped and won’t scream for help (sounds like the way a pedophile talks as he unzips his pants). That, and, if you do it “gently,” it doesn’t count.

Zero Tolerance

June 20, 2018

Listened to an interview with the acting director of ICE last night. He, and many Trump supporters, say it is manipulative to focus on the impact of Trump’s “zero tolerance” policy – children being ripped from their parents’ arms, toddlers crying, etc. – and that the only people to blame for what is currently happening on our southern border is the parents who put their children in this position in the first place.

Spoken like white people of enormous privilege.

You have to ask yourself, how bad would your life have to be for you to leave your home, your homeland, your family, pretty much your entire life, equipped only with whatever you could carry and whatever money you were able to scrape together, to make a perilous journey across hundreds of miles – some or most of them on foot – knowing that you could be the victim of crime, that you may or may not have regular access to food or clean water along the way, and that when you finally reached your destination, you could be turned away, arrested, or jailed?

And even if you were one of the lucky ones who was granted asylum, you now have to start over from scratch with nothing but whatever assistance available from the government and the scorn and racism of people who think our country should be as lily-white as it was after we exterminated indigenous Americans and before we imported slave labor from Africa to do the jobs white people didn’t want to do?

How bad would life have to be for someone to decide, “trying to get to America, even though fraught with hardship and danger, is better than what it’s like to live under my present circumstances?”

Most Americans take for granted the relative stability, opportunity, and resources we enjoy. We have no clue what it’s like to live in a “shithole” country where there are no civil rights or guarantees of safety and order, but I have a feeling that it won’t be too much longer before we do.

Finally, for those who feel the need to consult the Bible on this one, here’s a nice passage from Luke:

“For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required.”